Has the shit ever hit the fan in your life?

Have you ever gone for something and it’s not worked out? A promotion? Pay rise? Something else?

It happens to us all… It has happened to me more than most! The fact of the matter is that shit happens in everyone’s lives, EVERYONE’S… Our lives will always have obstacles,will always have challenges and will always have people who tell us that we can’t be who we want to be.

If these things happen to us all, why do we think it is unique to us individually? How is it that when most of us experience these moments, we feel like the world is against us? We feel like giving up? We feel like it is impossible to succeed?

What if we decided to think differently?

What if we decided to perceive the obstacles and challenges in our lives differently?

What if we knew that the bad things that happen aren’t actually bad? What if we knew those challenges are here to help us?

The research shows that the difference between the people who thrive in life and those that struggle, is all about mindset. Most people when they hit a road-block, will quit, moan, blame and give-up. The people who thrive think different… They embrace, encourage and engage when challenged.

How do they do that?

“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes.”Wade Boggs

Perception

It’s the starting point… how you see life and how you perceive problems, will define everything in your life. If you decide that problems are in your life so that you can overcome them, then that mindset will define your actions positively.

The problems in your life take on a whole new perspective, suddenly the world isn’t against you, instead it is providing an opportunity for you to develop. Suddenly something that was negative, can be exciting.

Action

The action you take will be absolutely determined and decided by your perception. If the world is against you and it’s impossible to succeed, then your actions will mirror that. If the problem you face is a great opportunity to grow, progress and learn… then your actions are going to be very different and much more positive.

Inner-strength

There will always be stuff in your life that you can’t control… have the strength to let it go and move forward with the things you can control. The ability to identify what is out of your control, to remove emotional attachment from it and then to take action on what is in your control, is vital.

The worst possible thing you can do, to waste time, is by spending your time trying to influence factors that are completely out of your control. The inner-strength to move on without holding negativity takes practise, but is available to us all.

That advice sounds reasonable, but can’t be that easy!

The bottom line is, it’s as easy or as hard as you decide it will be. It’s all a choice… how you perceive life and how you perceive problems. Will you thrive or just survive? It is all your choice.

Think about what stops you when problems arrive at your door:

Fear of failure?
Lack of motivation?
This always happens to me?

No matter what, it is your decision… fear? You decide… motivation? You decide… problems or opportunities? You decide.

Take accountability… decide to have the positive perception, the positive action and the powerful inner-strength.

I know this to be true because I have had dark times in my life, where I believed that the world was against me, that I was a failure and I couldn’t do it. It hurts me to say, but I crumbled in life.

I was lonely, negative and hopeless. I made bad decisions. I smoked, drank and ate to excess… being 3 stone overweight, smoking 40 cigarettes a day and 2 bottles of whiskey a week isn’t good for anyone!

At work, I took corporate roles I thought I had to, in order to show willing and progress within the company.. working in environments on tasks that ate at my soul.

I decided to live like this… I decided that this was the way to live my life… I decided that the problems I faced where insurmountable.

I wasn’t pursuing my dream… I didn’t even know what my dream was! I was just focused on my problems and filling the gap of fulfilment with smoke, alcohol and excessive eating!

Then I decided to change my mindset… I decided on who I wanted to be and what I must achieve. I focused on why I wanted this and what it would mean to me. I re-programmed my mind to ask different questions, to think differently about my problems.

Since then I have given up smoking and drinking. I now eat healthy and exercise. I am proud to say, I am also at a healthy body weight! Not only that, I changed my work life and now focus on 1-1 peak performance coaching, delivering seminars, writing books and developing training materials. I do all this so that hopefully I can support people around the world to become better leaders and improve the quality of their lives.

I am not telling you this to brag… I’m telling you this to allow you to see that you can change your mindset, you can change your life… If I can do it, you can too!

Living an exceptional life doesn’t happen by accident… there are lots of strategies, approaches and perceptions that will help… however it always starts with your choices.

When life throws challenges your way… how will you react?

March 7, 2016March 7, 2016 Dax Murphy

Six Ways I Upgraded My Performance

Have you ever wondered how some people, no matter what they do, perform at an amazingly high level?

How do they seem to have so much energy, zest, passion and abundance in their lives?

This question has been an obsession of mine for years… What is it that they know and focus on, to achieve so much?

Below are the ‘secrets’ of the ultra successful, that I have discovered over the years… what the ultra successful choose to focus on, what they choose to give their attention to, what they choose to master and how they convince the surrounding world to support them!

However, I feel like a fraud when I say ‘secrets’… They are not secrets at all. They are common sense and we all know the six factors below will improve our performance. The main difference I have discovered is the ultra successful focus and complete these ‘secrets’ everyday. It is a MUST for them.

For the rest of us it is a SHOULD.

We all have an opportunity to grow and become more… and no matter what point you are at in your life right now, these factors can amplify your performance right now!

The best and biggest achievements in our lives come from within us… focus on the right things, master the right things and an exceptional life is in our grasp! Turn your SHOULD’s into MUST’s!

The best way to make these factors a MUST is to pro-actively focus on them every single day. If you are interested in transforming your life then at the end of this blog post is an opportunity to get a FREE PDF that can be emailed to you with the Six Ways to Upgrade Your Performance described below.

Why / Vision

A true understanding of why you do what you do, provides a sense of direction, clarity and purpose to how you live your life… the more clarity you have about who you are and the purpose of your life, the more chance you have of it becoming a reality! There are a number of ways to understand your why in more depth, however for today the activity is simple:

Think of the 3 most important words that describe how you would like to approach life.

Now think of 3 words that you would most like other people to say about you after spending time with you.

These 6 words describe a version of you that is inspirational… the person you want to be.

Ask yourself this question everyday “Am I living my highest self?”

Ask yourself if you are proactively demonstrating those 6 words you have chosen… This keeps you focused on the person you want to be… keeps you focused on your purpose in life, to be that person. Once you are focused on something, you can make it happen… focus on your highest self!

Presence

What I mean by this is to invest yourself in the moment… not focusing on the past, not thinking about the future, not being distracted by non-important things… investing yourself into NOW!

Your body, your mind, your focus all here NOW… razor sharp, energised and pumped in this very moment.

The number one difference between those who live an exceptional life and those that don’t are those who can be present 100% when it matters… In that coaching session… In the presentation… when striking that deal… when listening to your children read… when talking to your loved one about their day…

They are there totally and completely, in the moment and fully focused… They are not checking facebook or email… they are not daydreaming or admiring the view… they are not thinking of that last meeting or the report they have to write later… They are invested in the moment of now.

You know when this happens… you can feel it. Especially when people lose focus in the moment… it’s obvious and it happens a lot… When people give 100% focus and attention, so much more can be achieved, created and delivered!

Ask yourself everyday “What level am I, on a scale of 1 to 10, in my presence right now?”

Productivity

This isn’t about getting through “to do lists”… This is about putting attention on the areas that will progress your life dramatically. This is about putting your attention on the important rather than the urgent.

We tend to live our lives today being busy… really busy. How much of our time we give to ourselves takes a back seat and other people’s agenda’s come first… That is just wrong!

Take back what you focus on… Focus on the important. The old saying is true… 20% of the actions on our to-do list, will achieve 80% of the results desired.

DO THAT STUFF! I know it sounds simple… and it is… It’s about not losing sight of who you are and what your purpose is and then putting your attention… your full attention on the things that matter!

Ask yourself everyday “What is my mission today?”

This will challenge you to think about the important aspects that need your attention.

You just then need to commit your attention!

Communication with influence

Those people who change businesses, mobilise communities, accelerate people’s growth,… all influence in similar ways… They challenge what is the conventional norm and they communicate with massive enthusiasm!

Being courageous in presenting your thoughts is vital to stimulate those around you. To create discussion, to enable imagination, to encourage creativity and to allow others to think differently.

All of which are needed to generate real and lasting change!

Being enthusiastic in communication is contagious… Your enthusiasm spreads to others… it creates energy… it creates passion… it creates momentum. Again all important aspects in leveraging change and influence!

Ask yourself everyday “Am I demonstrating daring enthusiasm?”

Physiology

It is hard to achieve anything when tired and fatigued.. Especially when you want to be that person who is full of natural vibrance, energy, passion and vigour!

The simple and obvious truth is, if you want more zest and to feel more energised, then you have to eat well, drink lots of water, do exercise and sleep enough!

There isn’t a magical secret recipe here… it’s common sense. The highest performing people in the world know this and so do you… It is all about if it is a SHOULD or a MUST in your life…

There is lots of great advice about how to optimise your physiology, however let’s start small and keep it simple. Sleeping correctly (about 6-7 hours) and drinking enough water is key to having more energy and being more alert, so…

Ask yourself everyday “Have I slept my 7 hours and am I hydrated?”

If these are the only things you do, it will boost your energy levels dramatically… Of course there are other factors to feeling physically great, please invest in these… Feeling physically fantastic is the platform for doing exceptional things!

Contribution and Adding Value

The reason for living is giving… To feel completely fulfilled the act of being more, giving more, being a part of something more… fills you up much more than any personal achievement.

I think we all know, deep inside, that giving back is massively important and will add more to our lives when we do… the great news is this doesn’t mean you have to do some grand gesture for charity to feel fulfilled (however if you can, then please do!)

You can give back every day.

Ask yourself everyday “How can I serve greatly?”

Asking this will allow you to get outside of yourself… think differently… add more abundance

More fulfilment, more life, more passion, more love, more meaning – An exceptional life.
Ask yourself these six questions everyday and become the best you can be!

If you are interested in transforming your life then complete the simple form below to get your FREE PDF… the Six Ways to Upgrade Your Performance. Which is a one page document that will support you in being pro-active in upgrading your performance… It’s free and there are no strings attached, so give it a go!

September 7, 2015May 30, 2016 Dax Murphy

What are the moments that make us change?

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Most first blogs will incorporate an overview of the subject matter in future posts and then share why they are a person who is credible about said subject matter.

Not mine… If you want that, hit the “ABOUT” link and you will find all you need to know about that…

This post is about finding out… “What is the moment that triggers most of us to take the action needed to achieve something in our lives?”

I’m not talking about basic things… I’m talking about the BIG THINGS… Think about your life when you achieved something brilliant, something against the odds, something, that at the time, you didn’t even know how you were going to do it, but where so motivated you found a way..

Most people will tell stories of things like giving up smoking, losing weight, getting a promotion etc… You will have your story too. You see we are all capable of amazing things, when we have the absolute focus and drive to do it.

So, what was the trigger? What was the moment that it HAD to change?

At the most basic level it’s either to avoid pain or gain pleasure or as Tony Robbins, the stimulus for this particular post says… “Either inspiration or desperation”

To that end then, for those who lose weight, the pain of feeling over-weight becomes too much to cope with and it becomes a “enough is enough” situation

The pleasure of how great they will feel, how attractive they will be becomes so vivid and inspirational that it becomes “I MUST have that” situation

However…

Most commonly it is a little of both pain and pleasure!

In my life the times when I have taken massive action have, in the most part, been linked to pain… Pain that I could have avoided if I’d of created sufficient motivation before the pain occurred!

A good example was during my first Management role in the retail sector… I delivered some decent results and thought I was progressive nicely… In the town where I worked there were 2 stores of the same brand and the company decided to close one of the stores. To cut a long story short, I was classed as the second best manager out of the 2 managers and was made redundant.

This of course created massive pain in my life… I was second best, I felt a failure, my security had gone, my career had gone and so had my confidence. I can still remember the shock, the tears and the anger in that little back office in a retail store in Blackpool, when I was told the news.

Once I had got over the first wave of emotions and stopped blaming everybody else… which took longer than I would like to admit… my focus became to intensify my own development, to learn more, practice more and to never leave my growth in the hands of anyone else, let alone a corporate company.

I took huge action… lots of it… adapted it… learnt from it… and within a year I was promoted to a significantly more senior role within the same company.

I changed my life… but I had to wait for pain to happen to me first!

How about you? Those moments you did the spectacular… was the motivation created by you or was it an external stimulus?

Now have a think about your dreams… the person you want to be… the leader you want to be…

Are you taking massive action to get that??? Life or death action?

4 or 5% of you will say “yes” to that last question… Great work, keep it going and get in touch… It’s always good to share the magic!

For the rest of us, here is the deal… You are capable of amazing things… you will already have a story or 2 where you took great action and achieved something cool… something you are proud of.

So if we all already have the capability… what are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for some big event to cause enough pain to take the action?

Or are you waiting for some even bigger event to come along and inspire you enough to be motivated to do what it takes?

What if we could create that desire to act without having to rely on external forces? What if we could train ourselves to get the motivation to take the action needed to secure our dreams? To be the leader of our dreams?

We can…

There are so many ways to do this, but for now lets play one game to get us started and then we can explore further in future posts…

The game…

Pick an area of your life you would like to change (just one, write it down and rate out of 10 how motivated you are to take action now to make that change)

Now I would like you to think about what will happen if you DONT change… and write down the answers to the following questions… and lay the consequences on thick…

If I don’t take action… In 5 yrs time…

How will I feel about this area in my life?
Is the change needed so big now it seems impossible?
How do you look, with all the baggage of stagnation around you?
How are your relationships… better or worse with no change?
How is your career? Have you progressed without making the required change?
How successful do you feel?

I know, if done properly, that is a tough exercise to do… But if done properly, I would like to ask a few questions…

How much desire do you have now to make the change?

Out of 10… how motivated are you to make the change now?

You should now feel a greater desire than before to take action… You probably are quite motivated to make sure that version of the 5yr you doesn’t happen!

You have just started to train yourself to be more motivated than before… to train yourself to take real, tangible actions on the areas you now must change.

And you did it by asking some questions… no real pain, no external event, no promise of huge pleasure… Just asking yourself some better questions.

You just did…